Expectations
“Sometimes we create heartbreak through our own expectations.” ~Unknown
There are a lot of quotes about expectations and — rightfully so. Expectations are one of the most detrimental mental constructs that we humans create. We seem to love them: having expectations for the people we love, the people we interact with at work, strangers and probably the most horrific expectations of all for ourselves.
Here’s another quote, ‘The best way to avoid disappointment is to not expect anything from anyone.’ When I first read this quote it felt really negative to me. It sounded like defeat. As if the quote was completely discouraging you to believe in anyone.
Yet, I didn’t want people to not believe in me, and even more, I didn’t want to not believe in other people. I had so many expectations of myself and wanted to be able to prove I could fulfil everyone of them. I didn’t realise it at the time, but these expectations were literally killing me and holding me back from the life I really wanted to be living.
As I learned the truth, that expectations are things we make up, standards that we hold ourselves and the people around us to. Usually, expectations are totally unrealistic and in no way compassionate toward ourselves or the people around us.
After my experience with chronic fatigue and being forced to let go of all the expectations I had; I now see this quote in a positive light. When I let go of all the expectations I had for myself, I found space to heal, space to learn, space to grow, space to love. This has been the single biggest blessing of my life.
Stephen Hawking hits the nail on the head when he said, “When one’s expectations are reduced to zero, one really appreciates everything one does have.”
What expectations do you have of yourself? Are they holding you back? Imagine what life would be like if you were able to let go of them and just get on with living your soul’s purpose!
